It’s 5:00 Somewhere

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Today’s Happy Hour research has led me to find that President Biden is a teetotaler. He says that one of his favorite uncles was a heavy drinker, and therefore chose to avoid it.

The majority of Americans — around 85% of those 18 or older — have tried alcohol at some point in their lives. I am not one for specifics, but I’d wager a fair bet that many who partake in the comfort of an adult beverage did their fair share of partaking because of the 45th *president — who, oddly enough, said he never drank himself.

While Trump and Biden may have sobriety in common, there is one thing distinctly different about the new family at the White House — it sounds different.

Champ, 12, and Major, 2, have officially moved in, and Major makes history as the first shelter dog in the White House.

The word is that Major is loving the South Lawn, and Champ loves his new bed by the fireplace.

It was also reported in November and seemingly confirmed on Sunday by press secretary Jen Psaki that there are plans to incorporate a First Feline to the family dynamics. I’m fully expecting the cat to dominate the press when it is crowned, so for now I’ll raise a glass to those glorious German Shepherds who, by their mere presence, have outclassed the goob-bois of last year.

Cheers, friends, it’s 5:00 somewhere!