Senate Negotiates Bipartisan Border Deal; DOA in the House

In a surprisingly display of how governing should work, the US Senate negotiated a bipartisan border agreement that President Biden stated he will sign into law. But, there’s just one problem—the Clown House, which will not pass because it’s not punitive enough, doesn’t include a stupid wall, they’re hell bent on impeaching Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas, and their KKKult leader, Adolf Benito Drumpf, has intervened. Translation: If President Biden is for it, they’re against it and they will NOT give President Biden a win even though, they’re the ones whining endlessly about migrants crossing the border.

So, what’s in the bill?

The bill would give President Biden the authority to shut down the border “when it becomes overwhelmed.” President Biden stated he would exercise this right (if necessary) “the day I sign the bill into law.”

Biden is referencing a new expulsion authority senators have negotiated that would kick in on days unauthorized border crossings reach 5,000 over a five-day average, according to two people familiar with the outlines of the deal who spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss private deliberations. That authority would shut down most asylum screenings for migrants crossing illegally. Migrants could still apply at ports of entry, where a set number of asylum claims would need to be granted, they said. Migrants would be expelled indefinitely until crossings dipped below 3,750 per day, which would end the expulsion authority period.

The deal also changes the U.S. asylum process with the goal of reducing the average time for an asylum claim to be resolved from several years to 6 months, the people said. It also raises the standard for migrants to be able to make an asylum claim in the first place. Some Republicans’ goal to dramatically curtail Biden’s use of his humanitarian parole powers for certain categories of migrants is not in the final deal, they said.

Senators said they hope to release the legislative text of the deal next week.

Johnson warns Senate on immigration talks and vows to impeach Mayorkas soon

House Speaker Mike Johnson is warning in a new letter that the emerging border deal is “dead on arrival” in his chamber if it resembles anything close to what has been reported, while also announcing that the House will soon vote to make Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas the second Cabinet secretary in history to be impeached.

Johnson reiterated demands to pass the House GOP’s immigration bill known as HR 2 even though that plan has no chance of passing the Senate.

Fired Fucker TucKKKer Tries to Remain Relevant:

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WTF, America?! What the actual F?!