Qevin McQarthy Sells His Soul to Become the Next Speaker of the House

In his final bid to become the next Speaker of the House, Representative Kevin McCarthy (Qevin McQarthy) penned a “Dear Colleague” letter to his fellow GQPers that outlined some of the concessions he agreed to on a Sunday evening conference call, including making it easier to can his ass. But, it’s still unclear if he even has the votes to become the next Speaker since “a group of nine hardliners – who had outlined their demands to McCarthy last month – put out a new letter saying some of the concessions he announced are insufficient and making clear they’re still not sold on him, though they did say progress is being made”.

The group would like a single vote to have the ability to oust Qevie if he/she believes Qevie’s not living up to their crazy demands. Moderate Republicans (is there such a thing?) “fear the motion to vacate will be used as constant cudgel over McCarthy’s head – pushed back and expressed their frustration during the call, sources said.”

Qevie’s New Rules Package:

  • Allowing five Republicans the power to call for a vote to can his ass. PedoGaetz wants only ONE vote to can his ass.
  • Restoring the ability to zero out a government official’s salary.
  • Giving lawmakers 72 hours to read a bill before it comes to the floor.
  • Creating a new select committee to investigative the “weaponization” of the Justice Department and the FBI.
  • Prohibits remote hearings and markups.
  • Does away with staffer unionization efforts.
  • Allows the House Ethics Committee to take ethic complaints from the public.

Regardless of Qevie’s proposed ‘new rules,’ nothing is final until a new speaker gets elected, members of the House take their Oath (and maybe seriously, for once), and lawmakers vote on the rules package.

Rep. Jim McGovern, the current Democratic chairman of the House Rules Committee, called the House GOP’s rules package a “major step backward for this institution.”

“Republican leaders have once again caved to the most extreme members of their own caucus,” the Massachusetts lawmaker said in a statement Sunday.

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WTF, America?! What the actual F?!