Springfield Cat Lady’s Cat Found Safe

Following repeated fabrications from Ohio Senator and VP candidate JD Vance centered around a tale of a missing cat reported to be eaten by immigrant Haitians, the tale is no longer on the table.

A Vance spokesperson on Tuesday provided The Wall Street Journal with a police report in which a Vance constituent from Springfield, Ohio, had claimed her pet might have been taken by Haitian neighbors.

Anna Kilgore, Springfield

Kilgore said she apologized to her Haitian neighbors with the help of her daughter and a translation app.

Because of the amplification of the pet-eating story by Vance and Trump, Springfield has suffered 33 bomb threats, forcing closed schools, hospitals and festivals. The hateful rhetoric, hitting all of the toxic chords of racism and prejudice, was admittedly made up by JD Vance in order to exploit Haitians in Springfield as a political football.

“If I have to create stories so that the American media actually pays attention to the suffering of the American people, then that’s what I’m going to do,” he said.