The Fascist Felon’s Administration Set to Buy $400 Million Worth of Armored Swasticars

In a move that should not surprise anyone, The Fascist Felon’s administration plans to purchase $400 million worth of armored Tesla (Swasticars) vehicles, according to a new State Department document detailing procurement for fiscal year 2025. Tesla Chief Executive Elon Musk, who is now a top, unelected nor confirmed White House official, leads the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), a unit focused on shrinking the federal workforce and ferreting out corruption. If the (mis)administration makes this bigly purchase, Elmo stands to benefit greatly The document did not specify what Tesla vehicles U.S. officials will purchase, but Musk’s Cybertruck, Swasticar with its militaristic design and stainless steel exterior, could be an option.

The original document obtained specified Tesla as their armored vehicle of choice but after reports circulated Wednesday night of the State Department’s intent to purchase Tesla vehicles, the document was edited, at 9:12 p.m., and now says the federal contract is for $400 million worth of “armored electric vehicles,” but the word “Tesla” was removed.

It is not clear if the planned award was halted due to the The Fascist Felon’s (mis)administration’s opposition to electric vehicles, concerns for a potential conflict of interest regarding Elmo’s roles at Tesla and DOGE, or for more opaque bureaucratic reasons. The State Department did not respond to a request for comment on the reasoning.

After Rachel Maddow covered the revelation on MSNBC, Musk responded to her, “why the lie?” He did not specify the alleged lie, but Maddow neglected to mention that the procurement document was produced in December 2024, after the election but before The Fascist Felon took office. In December of 2024, President Biden’s administration set in motion a plan to convert 3,000 armored vehicles into zero-emission electric vehicles by 2035. According to the State Department, only a single company responded to last year’s request for information—presumably Tesla.

A new Cybertruck starts at around $82,000, and about 38,000 were sold last year, according to Cox Automotive. Since the vehicle’s launch in 2019, the truck has faced complaints about rust, finger pinches and defective accelerator pedals.

The State Department document also shows that some Tesla competitors are set to receive lucrative, yet considerably smaller, contracts for armored vehicles, including from BMW, which is expected to supply about $40 million worth of SUVs to the federal government.

Coincidental Reasons for Elmo and His Co-President’s Firing Decisions:

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WTF, America?! What the actual F?!