Trump officially pardons Bread and Butter; claimed Adam Schiff subpoenaed them

Before officially pardoning real turkeys Bread and Butter, Trump had to remind us just how bigly the Stock Market has done. He also made a ‘funny’ about the impeachment inquiry hearings.

“Thankfully, bread and butter have been specially raised by the Jacksons to remain calm under any condition, which will be very important because they’ve already received subpoenas to appear in Adam Schiff’s basement on Thursday,” Trump joked. “True. Hundreds of people have. It seems the Democrats are accusing me of being too soft on turkey. But bread and butter, I should note that unlike previous witnesses, you and I have actually met. Very unusual. Very unusual. In any event, I expect this pardon will be a very popular one with the media. After all, turkeys are closely related to vultures.”

“I don’t know if I like that line, but there’s a little truth to it,” Trump went on.

Raw Story:

Trump then practiced his lines for his bigly rally in Florida tonight.

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WTF, America?! What the actual F?!