VP Potential Kristi Noem Flexes Trump Cred by Bragging About Shooting Her Dog

"Jeffrey Dahmer with Veneers"

Trump VP tryhard Kristi Noem included a story in a new book that she killed her domestic bird hunting dog, Cricket, a wirehair pointer, after a hunting expedition when the 14-month old pup was uncontrollable, “out of her mind with excitement, chasing all those birds and having the time of her life”.

After the hunt, Noem stopped to talk with a local family with Cricket.  Cricket escaped Noem’s truck and attacked the family’s chickens, “grabbing one chicken at a time, crunching it to death with one bite, then dropping it to attack another.” Noem writes that the dog behaved like “a trained assassin.”

When the governor caught up to the pup it “whipped around to bite me”. Then, as the chickens’ owner wept, Noem repeatedly apologised, wrote the shocked family a check “for the price they asked, and helped them dispose of the carcasses littering the scene of the crime”.

Noem said throughout the incident Cricket was the “picture of pure joy.”

“I hated that dog,” Noem writes, adding that Cricket had proved herself “untrainable”, “dangerous to anyone she came in contact with” and “less than worthless … as a hunting dog”.

“At that moment,” Noem says, “I realised I had to put her down.”

So Noem took the dog to a gravel pit and shot her.  And after it was over, Noem said another “unpleasant job needed to be done.”

While in the spirit of killing, apparently, Noem thought of the male goat she described as “nasty and mean,” because it had not been castrated. Furthermore, the goat smelled “disgusting, musky, rancid” and “loved to chase” Noem’s children, knocking them down and ruining their clothes.

She brought the goat to the gravel pit for another slaughter.

With the first shot, the goat jumped and survived its first wound. Noem had to go back to the truck for a second shell to finish the kill.

At that point, Noem writes, she realized a construction crew had watched her kill both animals.  Then the school bus was along to drop off her kids, and her daughter asked, “Hey, where’s Cricket?”

The Guardian