First in the Nation: Joe Biden sweeps Dixville Notch, NH

Joe Biden swept Dixville, NH; one of the first places in the US to cast their votes.

The final tally: Biden 5, Trump a big, fat ZERO. No word if Trump plans to sue, get Billy Barr involved, or just demand a simple recount.

In all seriousness with a splash of tradition:

By tradition, all eligible voters gather in the storied “Ballot Room” at The Balsams resort in Dixville Notch to cast their secret ballots once polls open at midnight. Once every ballot is cast, votes are tallied and results announced — hours before anywhere else, making it a favored spot for reporters and observers eager for any hints of what is to come on Election Day.

MSN:

Happy Election Day! Hope you voted! If not, take yourself to the polls, MASK-UP, and stand in line with snacks, water and a cellphone. Or, you can hit up an OFFICIAL drop-off box and get that ballot in. TICK TOCK!

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WTF, America?! What the actual F?!