It’s 5:00 Somewhere

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Today marks the beginning of Big Ten Football, a conference that has agreed upon an eight game conference-only schedule. I should thank Trump for his intervention, right? Otherwise, how would I ever go on?

I’ll let you in on a secret. I’m essentially a water-cooler football fan. I’m there in spirit for the home team, which in my world has always been the Maize and Blue, thanks to traditions growing up that pitted my dad against uncles who couldn’t help but support Little Brother, the Michigan State Spartans.

I will admit to being in the Big House only once in my life, when I was younger and in better shape to walk miles to the stadium, and without having claustrophobia in a crowd of 110,000 screaming fans. It was crazy, and crazy fun.

But of course now I, and likely many of you, can’t imagine EVER being in a crowd of that size again. And with the University of Michigan under a current stay-in-place order due to a spike in cases, the most excitement I can hope for is a plate of game-day wings and an icy cold beverage on the couch.

Yep, I need to get an air-fryer for the winter.

So maybe I will check out some college ball for the first time this weekend, and if I do, I’ll be sure to bigly thank Fat Orange Elvis — NOT.

Have a good weekend everyone, it’s 5:00 Somewhere. Cheers to 10 more days until we oust Trump from the People’s House!

Remember, this is your thread to yuk it up.