Oregon police department asks residents to stop calling 911 because they’ve run out of toilet paper

The Newport Police Department recently posted this on their Facebook page because people kept calling 911 for TP.

“It’s hard to believe that we even have to post this,” the police wrote. “Do not call 9-1-1 just because you ran out of toilet paper. You will survive without our assistance.”

Their post continues with some helpful tips for when people are fresh out of TP.

“Seamen used old rope and anchor lines soaked in salt water. Ancient Romans used a sea sponge on a stick, also soaked in salt water. We are a coastal town. We have an abundance of salt water available. Sea shells were also used.”

Sea Sponge sans stick
Charmin Ultra-Soft corn cob


About Surley 863 Articles
No hell below us, Above us only sky, Get over it