The Newport Police Department recently posted this on their Facebook page because people kept calling 911 for TP.
“It’s hard to believe that we even have to post this,” the police wrote. “Do not call 9-1-1 just because you ran out of toilet paper. You will survive without our assistance.”
Their post continues with some helpful tips for when people are fresh out of TP.
“Seamen used old rope and anchor lines soaked in salt water. Ancient Romans used a sea sponge on a stick, also soaked in salt water. We are a coastal town. We have an abundance of salt water available. Sea shells were also used.”